Tag Archives: friendship

Shattering Crowns of Vanity

21 Dec

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Life has a way of teaching us lessons and awakening us to our own folly. It’s funny how these lessons aren’t learned until the tables turn!

You see, I have prided myself on my ability to keep the opposite sex (of those I was romantically uninterested) at a remarkable distance. I in fact, am the QUEEN of it! Which I must say contributes greatly to my lack of male friends. I kept them at bay out of fear I’d give the wrong impression.

Firstly….How incredibly vain of me! Secondly…. I am filled with regret as I consider every boy- now man, who has fallen victim of my madness! They were and are wonderful and interesting people who I may never receive a second chance to know.

The source of most my grief, perhaps, is that I believed myself to be doing something Noble… For I was in the business of protecting and preserving hearts! (Notice Sarcasm Please). Regretfully, I fear this has done more harm than good. Dealing with matters of the heart IS tricky business. You don’t want to leave people feeling rejected completely and you certainly do not want to lead anyone on. There surely has to be a balance.

Boundaries are good to establish from the start, especially when you suspect someone is interested. Nobody wants their heart strung along! Like me, do not, however, make the mistake of creating a boundary that reaches the land east of the Atlantic!!! This prevents some really cool people from entering your life and can contribute to their heart break as well.

I have come to learn that the rejection of friendship is much worse than the rejection faced in the romantic sense. Nothing’s worse than feeling unworthy of time and affection from someone you care to know. I also learned that when one seeks to know you, they find you interesting and worth their time. Embrace the chance to get to know those people. That means they truly accept you as you are.

Inevitably there will be times when the question and interest for a relationship may arise on one or both parties. When this occurs, immediately evaluate and address it together. Whatever the decision, (whether to progress or maintain) work to keep the friendship! And if the decision is made to remain friends, celebrate it!  I have always hated the phrase “JUST friends.”  How and When for that matter did friendship ever come to be viewed as LESS than it’s romantic counterpart? (Food for Thought)

Each person is an irreplaceable and unique treasure. Those you allow into your life often become the most valuable.  I have come to the realization that when you keep people at a distance you miss out on the blessings and fullness they can bring to your life.

Perhaps, I cannot change the past, but I can alter what I do in the present. So, Pardon me please as I remove my crown as Queen and shatter it upon the ground! Ill continue to guard my heart and protect the hearts of others, but I refuse to deny anyone my friendship.